Friday, March 7, 2014

When i noticed the chains

Each time i got up to move my thrashed soul
burdened, tired and deeply remorse,
For the largest part of my journey i would drag it,
push it, pull it but it wont just move forward.

Well this went on for a long long time,
until one day i noticed...

I noticed though in a dull, peeping light,
I was tied down,
Under heavy, rusted, ugly looking chains.
These chains were built especially for me,
of pain, of failure, of regret, of guilt, of lost inspirations, of judgement, betrayal, loneliness, disappointment,anger and sorrow.

I was shocked, nervous, desperate to get out of them,
so i shook my body really fast, 
till my bones started aching...

No use, in fact all that i tried worked against me,
the more i resisted, the more they grew on me,
the more i moved, the more they got hold of me.

I panicked, i cried, i shouted, by now i was desperate,
All this while i had not seen them, 
i didn't know about their existence,
but now i knew and i wanted to get rid of them.

I tried harder,
i became wild and my wilderness clearly fetched me no results,
the chains had wrapped themselves around me, 
i was almost breathless,
i was sure i will die.

Just when i lost all hope,
closed my eyes,
accepted my defeat,
i saw them loosening up on me.

I was surprised,
all this while when i was struggling,resisting, fighting, 
this did not happen.

It actually happened when i gave up,
when i was not desperate,
was not pretending!!

I have closed my eyes,
i am ready to feel the pain,
i will not shy away from hurt,
I am sore, wounded, bruised
but i wont't be chained!!!!!!

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